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bubblegum crisis

7/2/10 15:31 - bubblegum crisis

we sat on a stone pic­nic table in the park. i twirled a long stem rose between my fin­gers. she let out a deep breath. i nudged her with my knee. she pushed it away. i nudged her again. she snatched the flower out of my hand. with a quick snap, the petals exploded over my head. i felt the bro­ken end of the stem scrape against my cheek.

i paid $9 for that.’

she scowled and raised her hand again. i winced. she tossed the bro­ken branch behind her. she smirked and looked away. relax­ing, i stretched out my leg and dug out a pack of gum.


with a thumb and fore­fin­ger, she deftly picked out a piece with­out touch­ing my hand.

i could almost hear her teeth grind­ing as she chewed.

hey,’ she said suddenly.

i looked at her. she flicked the empty, crum­pled wrap­per at my forehead.

you have so many redeem­ing qual­i­ties,’ i mum­bled under my breath.

shut up,’ she replied and pushed me away. she sniffed. a quiet pop of her gum fol­lowed, as she turned away and leaned back on her elbows.

i shrugged and fished out my own piece of gum. as i was about to pop it in my mouth, her hand flashed out like zeus’s thun­der­bolt and smacked it away. the gum flew across the air and bounced a few times before com­ing to rest in a bed of gravel some dis­tance away.

i hissed. ‘god damn you!’

she snapped her gum in response.

my shoul­ders slumped as i stared at the off-white rec­tan­gu­lar object in the dis­tance. when i turned to look at her, some­thing like a tri­umphant grin was begin­ning to form at the cor­ner of her lips while she exam­ined my reac­tion. she turned away before i could see it fully develop.

i jumped off the table and faced her. i leaned for­ward. her eyes got big. she leaned back. every inch closer by me was matched by an inch fur­ther by her until she was almost lying flat on the table.

you kiss me, i scream,’ she warned.

i blinked. she nar­rowed her eyes.


i straight­ened up, turned and walked towards my lost gum. i bent over and picked it up. i held it up to the lamp­light and exam­ined it thoroughly.

you’re not going to eat that are you?’ she asked, horrified.

i rubbed it as clean as i could with my shirt.

you chew gum. you don’t eat it. stu­pid.’ i empha­sized that last part as i popped it into my mouth.

her face con­torted. she clicked her teeth and shook her head.

i placed my hands on my hips and chewed like a cham­pion, as she looked on in clear aston­ish­ment of my victory.

she stepped off the table and walked toward me. my arms tensed, ready­ing myself for more vio­lence. as she reached me, she looked up and burst out laugh­ing. with­out miss­ing a stride, she side­stepped me and con­tin­ued toward the park­ing lot.

you are so stu­pid!’ she said, still laugh­ing, shak­ing her head.

i piv­oted in disbelief.

what?’ i fol­lowed behind her. ‘what the hell was all that?’

just see­ing if there was any­thing you felt guilty about and needed to con­fess,’ she replied over her shoulder.

that is so evil,’ i stopped to yell. i pulled out the pack of gum and launched it at her. it sailed to the left of her head.

you’re lucky that missed,’ she said with­out turning.

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